It’s changing the way we communicate (Picture: Getty Images/Alamy)
“In an increasingly networked society where people are always ready to connect, the pacing of emotional intimacy has to be constantly tweaked. Dating apps facilitate rapid connection and constant communication, but trusting someone still takes as long as it ever did. So Tinder demands a certain amount of emotional dissociation — to distance oneself from emotions by treating connecting to others as a game. The only criteria is to choose and choose fast, choose as many as you want, choose so many you’re not even making a choice. This simplicity can provide sweet relief.
But Tinder is more than a dating app — it is a metaphor for speeding up and mechanizing decision-making, turning us into binary creatures who can bypass underlying questions and emotions and instead go with whatever feels really good in the moment. Its mechanisms perfect the similar either-or options other social media platforms have offered, the yes/no, like/ignore, retweet/pass dichotomy that leaves no room for maybe. Within Tinder, we sort each other into ones and zeroes, flattening away any human complexity, becoming efficient robots. Where a best friend might engage with you about the true motivations behind your choices, Tinder serves as Robot Bestie, there to make complex decisions seem easy, shorn of emotional entanglements.”
“The great thing about apps like Tinder is that they expand the dating pool from a puddle to an ocean. If you encounter a series of uninspiring matches or a date goes kinda “meh,” just keep swimming and you’ll find a potential dream person a few strokes, or left-swipes, away. Dating sites, which advertise massive and often misleading membership numbers, promote this sense of endless possibility—it’s even made explicit by companies like Plenty Of Fish. How could you go wrong with so many potential The Ones?
But it turns out this is also the bad thing about apps like Tinder, according to a new study. The paper, published online ahead of print by the journal Media Psychology, found that online daters are less satisfied when choosing from a large set of matches. As much as we think we want lots of romantic options, it might actually make us less happy with our choices.”
“By stigmatizing and criminalizing teen sexuality, sexting becomes intertwined with broader matters of power and control. The atmosphere of moral panic doesn’t discourage teens from sexting; it frames sexting as an opportunity for rebellion, a chance for kids to feel free. Parental panic conveys the sense that teenagers’ sexuality is their most precious, most valuable property. This, as much as the process of staging and taking nude selfies, reifies sexuality, making it into something to be deployed and conserved rather than explored or developed or enjoyed for its own sake.
Sexting, under the pressure of moral panic, becomes more a matter of self-objectification rather than self-discovery. Liberation is perceived as finding one’s own profitable uses for the precious sexual value that others have invested in the sight of one’s naked body rather than exploring the other sorts of pleasure and intimacy sexuality can supply.”
Dating is a huge time suck. But it should be enjoyable, not a chore.
Before you can become more efficient, step back and look at your online dating commitment now. Estimate how much time you dedicate to perfecting your profile, editing pictures, sorting through seemingly endless matches and actually communicating with people. Then add the time you spend getting ready and traveling.
“Make room for yet another dating app. San Francisco-based Blume is hoping to entice singles into its arms with a real-time selfie feature designed to thwart catfishing. So no more being chatted up by sex-mad robots. Or wooed by forlorn hopers overselling their dating prospects with a set of out-of-date/overly processed photos.
In a further twist on the prevailing dating app recipe, Blume adds in a little ephemeral frisson too, with the real-time selfie only being shown for seven seconds, before disappearing – during which period the user must decide whether they really do want to match with the person in the photo or not.
If both Blume users confirm the match they unlock each other’s full profiles (i.e. of non-real-time selfie photos) plus the usual one-on-one messaging function. So there’s both an initial mutual match process, and a follow up real-time selfie match for confirmation.”
“The social hobbification of online dating has certainly arisen in contrast to its origins. Mediated dating, particularly by computer technology, used to be an embarrassing and profoundly lonely pursuit. Rendered secretive and personal, it seemed to invite addictive or compulsive behaviour – something to brush even further under the carpet than the new that you were using it at all.”
From flirting to breaking up, social media and mobile phones are woven into teens’ romantic lives. Our new report, released today, details how American teens ages 13 to 17 are using technology and the internet to shape and mold their romantic relationships. Some findings include:
– 35% of teens have ever dated, hooked up with or been otherwise romantically involved with another person, and 18% are currently in a romantic relationship.
– One-quarter (24%) of teen “daters,” or roughly 8% of all teens, have dated or hooked up with someone they first met online.
– 72% of teen daters text their partner daily, and 21% say a romantic parter has read their texts without their permission.
– 47% of teens have flirted with someone on social media, while 31% have sent a flirtatious message of some kind.
“If you are a plus size or fat person, you know how difficult it is to date. Tinder is notorious for its users fat shaming, and this video shows how people react to their real-life dates being bigger than what they expected. Not great.
It was that video that inspired WooPlus, an app exclusively for the plus size dating community. There are several websites dedicated to plus size or fat dating, but most cater to feederism and especially the fetishization of fat people. However, this app is different.”
“Guys, please don’t take this the wrong way, but chances are, your online dating profile isn’t helping you put your best virtual foot forward. (I know this because I recently dipped a toe into the intimidating, tempest-tossed waters of cyber romance).
I also know that men don’t like to ask for directions. However, I’m hoping that viewing your online profile through a woman’s eyes will prove useful. (And I assure you, my purpose here is to support and inspire, not attack).
So, as a public service, I’ve put together some online dating profile do’s and don’ts, based on what I’ve seen first-hand. The good news is that once identified, even the most problematic online profile issues can be easily fixed–if you’re willing to expend just a bit more thought and effort. I promise: you can create the kind of irresistible profile that will lead to your ultimate goal: canceling your subscription because you’ve met the woman of your dreams.”
“United Nations research has found the growing use of mobile dating apps by young gay men is a major factor in a new HIV epidemic among teenagers in Asia, the Guardian can reveal.
The report uncovered a surge of HIV infections among 10-19 years olds in the Asia-Pacific region, where more than half of the world’s 1.2 billion adolescents live.
The two-year study found that smartphone dating apps have expanded the options for spontaneous casual sex as never before.
The epidemic is fastest growing amongst men who have sex with men. Other groups include those who are sexually exploited by or engaged in sex work, people who inject drugs, and young transgender people.”
“Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse” The comparison to online shopping seems an apt one. Dating apps are the free-market economy come to sex. The innovation of Tinder was the swipe—the flick of a finger on a picture, no more elaborate profiles necessary and no more fear of rejection; users only know whether they’ve been approved, never when they’ve been discarded. OkCupid soon adopted the function. Hinge, which allows for more information about a match’s circle of friends through Facebook, and Happn, which enables G.P.S. tracking to show whether matches have recently “crossed paths,” use it too. It’s telling that swiping has been jocularly incorporated into advertisements for various products, a nod to the notion that, online, the act of choosing consumer brands and sex partners has become interchangeable.”
“It’s instant gratification,” says Jason, 26, a Brooklyn photographer, “and a validation of your own attractiveness by just, like, swiping your thumb on an app. You see some pretty girl and you swipe and it’s, like, oh, she thinks you’re attractive too, so it’s really addicting, and you just find yourself mindlessly doing it.” “Sex has become so easy,” says John, 26, a marketing executive in New York. “I can go on my phone right now and no doubt I can find someone I can have sex with this evening, probably before midnight.”
“Tinder has right-swiped on Instagram, as the dating app integrates the popular photo service into its user profiles.
Capitalising on high number of users who share their Instagram handles, Tinder has formalised the relationship between the two apps.
Users can now opt-in to allow potential matches to scroll through a selection of their Instagram feed – the 34 most recent pictures – in-app.
Tinder users who have a private Instagram account, but who want to allow potential matches to see their Instagram pics, are given the option to allow users to see a selection of their pics, without affecting the status of their locked account outside of Tinder.”
Neither alcohol nor tobacco decided to add warning (or even moderation) messages to their products of their own accord. Even the life-saving seatbelt laws we all now take for granted were the result of the tireless efforts of Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
Of course the big hurdle for Tinder would mean coming to terms with the reality of how people use and perceive their product. To adopt a safe sex message would mean accepting their cultural role as a “hookup app,” something the company has only ever sought (sometimes preposterously) to disavow.
Some health officials point to the growing role of technology in people’s sex lives, specifically apps like Tinder and Grindr that facilitate casual sex between partners who don’t know each other’s sexual histories. But there’s no conclusive evidence that these apps have played a role in syphilis outbreaks, especially given that Tinder was released more than a decade after syphilis rates began rising again in 2002.
Sarah Kidd, an epidemiologist at the CDC, believes dating apps can pose a diagnostic problem, since controlling the spread of syphilis relies on being able to notify an infected person’s sexual partners.“We do know that with the rise of so many apps, it’s easier to meet partners and not necessarily have identifying information and not be able to track them down later,” she says.
Her – Spike Jonze